I do not know how to start…
I am pastor in Zhakovtse. It is small village in Spish near Poprad. I’ve got a special pastoral care. I take care of, I hate to use the word homeless, it irritates my ears, I call them boys. Boys, girls. When I say I care about the problem less girls, they were always mad at me. priest, you are calling us problematic. So I say I care about the non problematic girls. Alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes. Former ones. We are trying to move them back to a normal way of life.
How it was in the beginning … a little bit of my life. They told me that I have to say. When I was young, I wanted to marry. I was really looking forward having a woman. I was really, really looking forward to it.
And if I would have a daughter, I’d be mad with joy. I was interested in horses, guns, karate, rock climbing.
What does this have to priesthood?
But I did not want to be a priest. I wanted to work in a mountain rescue. I started to train, climb, strenghten my body, I wanted to have a horse, I wanted to live in the woods, have a rifle and I negotiated with the Jesus. Jesus, first will be a daughter. Second, it does not matter what will you give, but give me a daughter first please. When my woman will want to have five children, and I ten … that is fifteen, but first a daughter.
So I was always thinking like this … then I thought. My God, will my wife want to live in the woods?
So I asked my schoolmates to know the view of the girls, women.
-Listen, would you live it in the woods?
She: “Excuse me?”
“Would you live in the woods?”
She: “You mean … on a trip?”
“No. To live. ”
She: “You’re not normal.”
I asked a second one. And you? Would you live in the woods?
She: “What am I? A Tarzan?
So I tell to Jesus. on the edge of the forest. So that she had it close to the town and I would be close to the forest.
Then my life turned around, I had an accident. I fell down in the Tatra Mountains as a climber, I fell in Gerlach peak. Just enough to make it short. About twelve o’clock afternoon I fell and at one, in the night, I was in the Poprad hospital.
Thirteen hours I was put down by six climbers from Gerlach peak. 13 hours, 6 climbers. When I got to Poprad, the first time in my life I began to ask questions.
And why are we here? And where exactly are we going?
Prague people were taking me down, six rock climbers from Prague, thirteen hours. Why we are here and where do we actually go?
When they heard it. What kid? What do you say?
Why we are here and where we are going?
And did you not hit yourself on the head?
Why are we here? Tell me.
And where are you going? You do not know where are you going?
Why the hurry?
Why to be good?
Why do you go to school?
Nobody knew my answer. Nobody.
So I disappeared, simply I got lost from this life and I said, ‘God, if you saved my life,
so I’ll give it back to you and sanctified.
I will take care of those who need it most.
I did not know nothing. Who will it be … I just signed a blank check. God, you tell the time and place and the people.
In my spirit I made a signature. Here Jesus. Did I know that Lord will take it seriously?
Yeah? Come on, come here.
And yeah … please .. then I went to the seminary.
One could talk a lot how difficult it was for me. Very difficult.
I was afraid to go to the seminary. I think. God, how? How will I be there?
My life has completely turned around. I went this way and now I go the other way on.
If I knew that I would be a priest, many things I would not do. And some others I would.
But I did not know that I would be a priest. I did not had a clue, that I will be a priest.
And now I care, I got those guys around. Boys, girls, disabled, mothers with children.
It is such posse of 250 people. Give or take. Something dies, something leaves. Something is taken on a business trip. to the jail. Something returns from the business trip.
We always have something there. I was not bored one day. Not even one day. I will tell you say such howlers. As he came to us …
Most of the time I spend there with the boys .. We are experts at it … We tear down old buildings. That’s what we professionals at. We demolish the old building and of it we have stone, brick, sheet. we turn it to the other side. Prisms we coat with oil and we reuse it.
And we build houses for the poor. Here’s Laco who told it very well. Live for others.
This is great … you want to be truly happy? Learn to make other people happy. He said it well. It’s great.
You do not believe? Look what offers today’s society. I have a girl prostitutes.
Is the sex really the greatest delight under the sun? You turn on the TV … one second, the third program … it really is the greatest delight? Really?
My girls, prostitutes … every morning I celebrate Holy Mass, it is 250 people. From the left girls are seated.
If sex is the greatest delight under the sun … my girls should be the happiest women under the sun. And are they?
You know what? I would not say that.
Come to look into the eyes of these girls, come on. These are the lucky women?
If the alcohol and the drug are so great, as everywhere is bragged …
“You know what? It is great.”
So my alcoholics and addicts should be the happiest men under the sun. And they are?
You know what? I would not say that. Come take a look into their eyes. I read from the book, which is called life. Not theoretical, practical.
Come take a look from my place. I will sidestep through the Mass. Look them in the eyes.
This is what offers the world of today. Diagnosis of homeless. man sick of love. Remember! If you cultivate the hatred, to if only one person…
It was nicely said here by him. My Predecessor. Very nicely he told it. That the nations are trying to converge and thus how politicians skew it.
You remember! You can not change the government nor Parliament nor Ministers. But yourself yes! You can change yourself! If you change yourself, one better person in the world.
Man! If you cultivate hatred to if only one man, thou shalt bring forth and procreate homeless. Diagnosis of homeless. man sick of love.
What have they been taught? To take.
Therefore, they got themselves to me. He took. alcoholic from his wife, daughter. I do not know. from mother in law, he took from everybody all around. from mother, from the society.
What do we teach him? The exact opposite! To give. What to give? Love. Love.
Why we are here and where we are going? After the years, people asked me. Maroš? Do you already know why we are here?
Of course. And where do we go? Of course.
And why are we here? To graduate from a single subject. From which?
Out of love. And there are only two mark. graduated or not graduated.
There is nothing in between.
And please. Where we are going? To love, to love. When I was young, I was in love.
But do not tell it to anyone. And please .. when we wheelbarrowed and it was rainning and with the concrete and was damp… Guys cursed, swore, and I laughed.
Old guy came to me and asked “Marosh, You smile. How’s that?”
Well, I did not tell him then, but I’ll tell you. What am was thinking about, when I pushed the wheelbarrow on that rig up and … “Feel free to load me more, that’s He poured something? I do not mind, it’s fine. I thought of my girl.
Stil five hours and I am with her. Four. Three. Two. One.
Half an hour, quarter. Now!
When you walk towards love … Man! It gives you the power!
By ginger! Energy, but also the meaning. Man. When you walk towards love.
If this is not true, you’re looking at the biggest booby under the sun. Why?
Why I do not have a wife today? After all, I can build her a house. Such a beautiful house I’d built for her. After all, I still dream about it when I was horseback riding. I binded the mare to a tree,
I took a straw in my mouth and stared into the sky. God, I will have a daughter first. I will teach her to ride a horse, shoot a gun. When the wife will not pay attention, I will teach her to spit on the ground.
Maybe even this she would learn. I’m so in concreteness, however.
So why today I do not have a wife? Why I do not have a daughter?
Why I do not have a house? Please…
Because I believe and I have bet all on one card. Such a risk. All my life. Bang.
Either it is the truth about the God, or it is not.
And can this be read from my life? Yes.
Not what I say. We pastors, we can learn anything to say.
What I do. What I do!
One guy came to me … more often I spend time with the boys … I am in overall all day long.
So I was running to the evening Mass … so I just went below the bridge, we have there … and quickly I cleansed my clothes from quick lime, I still had there.
I jumped out from under the bridge. Opposite to me standed a boy. I have not seen such.
Shaved skull. Painted in yellow. Yellow. Here he had the black cobwebs. Aigrette orange-purple-green. So. An earring so big here in his nose and one in his ear.
Tunders, lightnings. Denim jacket. I jumped up from under the bridge, he was scared of me and I of him.
We both jumped away.
He recovered first. He says. Hey.
I say to him. Hey.
Do you know where there is a manse?
– This is the manse?
– And a pastor?
– Before you.
– You’re a pastor?
– I know I do not look like one, but I am. Yeah. Who are you?
Me? I’m a Lizard.
– I can see that.
He asked me. Where are you going?
Pastor, where are you going?
Me? … To a church.
– To a church?!
– You wonder when the pastor goes to church?
– And can I go with you?
– Of course, the church is for everyone.
– But I’m not a believer.
– Do not fear, God loves all sincere people.
Not one honest man will get lost.
Whether he has a label Catholic, Lutheran, Czech-fraternal, sincere unbeliever, Jew, Muslim. It does not matter.
All sincere people will come to heaven. If you are in search of … just do not stay lie down.
Do not fear anything. Come with me.
He went into the church. I was thinking … we have a church … you can enter just from the back. It is not possible from the side.
I was thinking. He will wait here and after the Mass I will be there for you.
But I went through the centre of the church and by the way grandmas started to skip rosary, I got to know that he is going right behind me.
They started at once, skipping … Wow. He sat down all the way to the front, in the sacristy … that evening I preached in vain. Avail. All grandmas were looking at him.
Such an aunt had very strong diopters. Once she lifting them up, onece down. She missed to close her mouth.
And after the Mass, after the Mass came the ladies. And I already knew that the political training of the team will come. I undress down chasuble, an alb, stole and the aunts said … Ehm, ehm.
And me. I see. Can I help you with something?
– Mister priest, when you will receive these, you will lose many believers.
I say. You think so? I think, I will not lose a single believer and when our church will lose some of the Pharisees and scribes, it will be just cleansed.
I said. Or have I misunderstood the gospel?
What do you think? Christ would search for these or would he avoid them?
Dear Madam. You know what that’s plume on his head? And the bare skull? An earrings in the nose?
– Do you know what is it?
– Should I translate it?
– Translate it mister pastor.
Earring in the nose. I do not want to be like my father. But I do not know what I want to be, because I do not see any good role model, but I know what I do not want to be. Because I see a bad role model.
He has his tie, jacket, perfect manners at work. Mary here, Sue there, Annie over there.
And when he comes home says. Move you old wife!
But the son sees it.
Dude you’re a hypocrite.
Mother. we come and see her. the one in the church …
What is the earring in the nose? What is the plume on her head?
I do not want to be my mother!
In the church like this, but we come out of the church … looking what a beautiful red scarf she has. We come closer …
Dude, it is the tongue. Man! Up here, so long.
I do not want to be like my mother. I do not want to be like my father. This is the earring in the nose. This is a punk, this is a skinhead.
Because I see a bad model. I know what I do not want to be. But I do not see a good model. And I have to say that.
As one reporter asked me once. Pastor, what would you like to tell the people who have gone away from God and the Church. Also to those who, so far, have not come to God.
I have thought about it a moment, then I said. I would like to ask them for forgiveness.
– What is forgiveness?
– Because we believers often do not live by what we preach.
And they see it.
They see it.
What are you talking with your mouth, when you are living something different?
They see it. Each of us paints Christ. Each of us. I am convinced. Even the father, the mother which I mentioned.
But it is deformed caricature and then they show us. this is God.
By ginger! But it is not God.
That’s your caricature.
That is not a God.
Paint Christ by your life. merciful and kind. Please, purpose in life is love. If you knew nothing about God, nothing, just one sentence…
God is love. You know everything. No theologian can add more … we can just put something extra. This is the essence.
And all our life. either we want or do not want to love.
It is not truth that God condemns. By ginger, that’s not true. Darkness and the end. No.
Or hell and God puts you there …
Are you …?
See how you go through the stages of life. From here … Bam! .. you pass to the next. You meet face to face God, immediately after death. Please.
And you?. You refuse to love? Yes?
You do not want the love?
And God respects your decision. You turn around and you’re going to non-love. This is hell.
You’re selecting condemning yourself alone!
And God, because there is love, respect your decision. Why?
Because the first condition of love is freedom. And I am free if I have at least two options.
You got two choices. Choose or not to choose love.
But be careful. Yet you must know the truth.
And you know the truth!
I have just said it. God is love.
Here you are. God is love. This is our life about. Are you selecting the love? Or are you not?
Evil is only the lack of good. As darkness is the absence of light. Please. And you choose. And God, because he is love, respects your decision.
From my life, it must be possible to read that I am a believer. That I believe what I am telling. Otherwise by ginger with everything … with all of this .. What would be the meaning of this all here?
I will just learn some sermons or what?
I was going out of the prison. After the revolution I started to visit orphanages, reformatories, homes for the elderly. Colleges called me to teach, but I said no. To special schools.
I left, believe me. There are the neglected children. In Roma settlements, in prison, to the inmates with life sentence I went. Everything.
I was going out. They called me to the students. I stopped. From Leopoldov prison, I do not know on which gas station. It was chilly, there was a gas station and now I will have to pray the breviary. So I prayed the breviary
there at the gas station, a yellow light through the window, it was raining, I had a jacket on the shirt, I have one pastor shirt. this one. And over the shirt I had a jacket ziped up.
I was praying and suddenly someone knocked at the window. Knock, knock, knock.
I turn to look. Such a girl. mini-skirt, purse, high heels.
Pretty young girl.
Really pretty. She knocked and told. Good evening.
– Good evening, I told.
she: “Do you wish the services?”
And I did not realize. I did not know. And I said: “Please, what services?”
– Ehm, the services.
– Ah, the services. I see.
I opened the door.
– You are a very nice girl.
– Do you like me?
– If we are to be honest, you are very pretty, but probably you see badly.
I’m old for you. I might be your grandfather. Father for sure. I’m in my fifties. You are barely seventeen.
I’m an old man and a stranger. Does it not humiliate you even a little bit? It has to humiliate you awfully.
She looked down and with leg she started to dig. Handbag like this.
– It does.
– Why are you doing this?
– You have some alcohol in you? Some narcotics?
Confusedly looked up and down, up.
– Meth. Half a dose.
– Can I sit down to you?
When the bishop laid his hands on me, I have never ceased to be a man. A man is not twice weaker in this matter. Three. Ten times.
Ten. Women are weaker here.
And men are below. Is it not?
And now, I was thinking. God, can she or not?
God, can she or not?
When she has any pimp, he will copy my car number and give it to be cashed at the bishop’s office.
And then it occurred to me. Jesus, I am not such as you, but I want to be such as you. Jesus, you would have received such a prostitute. Stay by my side, because I am a weak man. Stand by me please.
– Sit down.
She sat next to. I did not even know that it is such rates. For such act, so much, so much.
I immediately shut her speach. I opened the thermo flask, I gave her a drink of tea.
– Dear lady, you see those trucks there?
– I can see.
Those all with lights. It was raining.
– If I owned all of them, even the gas station. If they belonged all to me and I would sell them and would like to buy you, it is not possible.
Impossible. You have such a value and a price that if all this belonged to me, it is impossible.
And you are throwing yourself away with a stranger and an old one. Look yonder, do you see those lights?
I do not know whether it is Piestany, or what is there. Probably Piestany. I do not know.
– You see that there?
– If this whole town there belonged to me, with all there is. If I sold everything, everything. And I would like to buy you… it would be impossible.
You have such a value. You are impossible to buy. And slowly, I told her about the dignity of women.
About motherhood. What is the most beautiful on woman?
She looked. What?
When a woman is a woman, that’s great. This is absurdly appealing. That’s great. Not a boondagger.
Masculine women, as sissified man. painted fingernails, nail file … iiiiii. Women, wuld you like to have such man?
Come on! Please! Let the man be the man and the woman be the woman. And I’ve started talking and she burst into tears.
She looked at me and said
– Listen. And by any chance, you are not a priest, are you?
And I said. Imagine that I am.
And now she says. And could you prove it somehow?. So tearfully.
So, if it helps you somehow. And I have opened this jacket and I showed her this shirt.
– Gosh! It happened to me the first time in my life.
I said. Me too. Well.
– You know what? I’ll drive you home.
– Home? My grandpa will kill you.
– What grandpa? You live with grandpa?
– And where is your mum?
– She is doing the same. In another city.
– Oh. Never mind. We are going.
– My grandfather will kill you. He has a pitchfork, he will pierce you.
I even joked. Three teeth, or four teeth has the pitchfork?
– He’ll kill you.
“I will endure. Sit down.”
I came there. Repaired house. Beautifully renovated house. I was thinking “She earned a lot!”
I got off, I did not know whether she is not catching me into a trap. I got of the car.
“Just wait a minute.” I locked the car. I went to a neighbor and I rang the bell.
I was thinking “God, if that lady knows me, that would be embarrassing as a thunder”. And I thought “Jesus, you were also risking and how much.
And was it worth it? Yes. You didn’t make a tender. Didn’t make neither a recruitment. All night you prayed and you showed. you, you, you, you.
Peter?! Such a braggart? James, John? Sons of Thunder. Covetous.
Nathaniel? Such gossiper?!
From Nazareth nothing is good.
The best is from Nazareth!
Judah? He can not break away from his wife, from land.
Philip? Flighty. once with John, once with Jesus.
Second Jacob? Nepotism.
Please! Jesus risked. So I will too.
I rang the bell. Please, lives her such a girl with grandfather?
And the lady said “Lives, lives :-)”
She thought I am the customer. Nevermind.
I rang at gate. In the back shone light. In the back. Indeed, the outline of the man, and he grabbed something in his hand.
And I saw that it’s not a shotgun, but the pitchfork. And he, really, as knight Burke, went to the gate. I’ll kill, I’ll kill.
He saw the silhouette of a man and a woman. And he said,
– A man will you not bring here. You will not. Do you understand?!
And have opened the electric gate and I was not waiting until he pierces me. With that three or four teeth fork, right? I just quickly unzipped the jacket.
I’m a pastor! I’m a pastor!
And that was my knights shirt then.
He stopped at that time. He let go of the fork.
– I’m sorry pastor, I’m sorry.
– What should I do?
– You’re doing well.
– You have let down the right weapon.
– Pitchfork. And you let the best on in your hand.
– What is it?
That’s good. When you messed up something in life, and you do not know how to fix it, the error will be in a prayer.
If you started something, did not finish, an error will be in a prayer.
Or you DO believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead … and you live accordingly. Or do not babble.
Here you go. Can it be read from your life that you are a believer?
If so, you paint with your life the merciful Christ. And that is extremely attractive.
Every kind of love is attractive.
When love is … What is love?
How much time? … Nothing
All right. That’s everything.